5 Common Myths about psychotherapy, coaching, therapy, and counseling in Missoula
You’re curious about counseling in Missoula, but you’re still a little hesitant or skeptical about what that looks like. You’ve talked to other people who have tried talk therapy, EMDR, CBT, mindfulness. It all sounds so different and you really don’t know what is right for you!
If you’ve never tried counseling before, it’s hard to know what to expect. Even if you have, things may have changed since the last time, both in your life and in the counseling world. I am a counselor providing in-person sessions in Missoula and online sessions across Montana. Below are some potential myths about counseling and my responses. Hopefully, this will clear up some misconceptions you might have about counseling.
Myth #1: no counselors in Missoula have availability
When you Google “counselors in Missoula” or go to Psychology Today, there are pages and pages of therapists or counselors. It should be easy to find someone who can fit you in, right? But some of their profiles say they have a waitlist or they are not accepting new clients. Occasionally you reach out to someone who appears to have openings and they get back to you saying that they haven’t updated their profile yet. Or worse yet, to not even hear back from someone. That is so frustrating!
Most therapists I have interacted with will get back to you within a business day or two, so if you don’t get a response the first time, don’t give up. Because of busy schedules, turnover, and the importance of finding a good fit, I recommend reaching out to three or four counselors initially to see if they have availability and are willing to have a short conversation about whether you might work well together.
myth #2: There are no counselors in Missoula that specialize in my problem!
People-pleasing, perfectionism, setting boundaries. Those are some of my specialties, but you can replace them with whatever issue you are seeking counseling for. On Psychology Today you can use filters to narrow down to the counselors in Missoula who specialize in what you want to work on. If you don’t find any results for a particular phrase, try something similar or more broad, such as “anxiety,” “women,” or “relationships.” After you get results, it’s helpful to read a counselor’s profile to figure out whether they have the expertise to help you with your individual needs. Therapists’ websites usually have more information than is provided on Psychology Today, so try clicking on the website links or searching for the counselor by name to find out more about them and what types of clients and issues they work with.
Alternatively, you can Google your specific concern combined with your location, especially if it’s something not listed on Psychology Today. That should lead you to some counselors in Missoula who have websites that describe how they can help you with your particular needs.
Myth #3: A counselor is just there to listen and nod their head
You have a picture in your mind of spilling your guts to a counselor, who is sitting in their chair listening and nodding their head. While listening is a crucial part of understanding a client’s experience, and nodding your head is one way to nonverbally indicate listening, that kind of support is a small part of how counselors work with clients. Counseling involves a deeper understanding of you so that you can make changes and learn skills to apply to your everyday life. This could mean a counselor in Missoula teaches you how to practice mindfulness or use your breath to regulate your nervous system. You may practice it in session, and make a plan to implement it outside of session. A counselor might teach you about assertive communication skills and help you role-play how to speak to someone with whom you want to improve your relationship. A counselor might focus on somatic approaches, using the connection between your body, mind, and emotions to change the way you manage anxiety. There are so many different approaches, and even if your counselor predominantly practices talk therapy, they are likely to take a more active role than simply listening.
myth #4: Getting outside every day is just like going to see a counselor
I talked with a neighbor recently who said “gardening is my therapy.” Absolutely! Gardening, getting outside, going to the gym, and spending time with friends can all improve your well-being. I would say for myself that getting outside every day is a huge part of how I take care of my well-being.
Sometimes, even though we have some ideas about what would help, we have difficulty taking action. And sometimes we need more than just lifestyle changes. When working with a counselor, they might help you find activities that engage your body as one way to improve your mental health and your life. Counseling often goes beyond that, helping you learn to acknowledge and respond to situations and emotions that might need attention. Life is full of ups and downs, and if we aren’t comfortable experiencing our emotions, understanding them, and using our understanding to address problems in our lives, we are likely to repeat the same patterns that keep us stuck.
Myth #5: If counseling works, I won’t have any more anxiety
This is a hard one. Many people say to me, “I just want to get rid of my anxiety.” That is completely normal. The thing is, anxiety is actually a natural part of being human. Just like animals, people have an innate fight or flight response to threats. The problem is that sometimes that adaptive response to danger shows up when we aren’t in actual danger, even though it feels like we are. Counseling can help you understand this biological function and reorient your nervous system to recognize when anxiety is serving a purpose and when it is not. From there, you can learn skills, practice them, and start to make more intentional choices based on a well-regulated nervous system.
If reading about these myths makes you want to learn more, I would love to talk with you about what counseling might be like with me. You deserve support from someone who will not only listen with the intention of deeply understanding you, but will work with you to determine what helps you make the kinds of changes you are hoping for.