counseling in missoula, MT

COUNSELING IN MISSOULA, MT FOR PEOPLE-PLEASERS

You’re living a life you don't feel invested in because you spend much of it making sure everyone else is happy, even if that means hiding your own truth and authenticity. People-pleasing and over-giving to others has spun you into overwhelm. 

Work and relationships feel draining

Work is chaotic as you say yes to everyone and everything. Your boundaries are constantly pushed, but you don't push back. You feel powerless to change it. Instead, at the end of the day, you go home exhausted and zone out with a glass of wine and some TV. 

With your partner, it’s hard to feel connected. You do everything in your power to avoid arguments, so you don't bring up how you feel and you don't ask for what you need. If you were really honest about what you’re feeling you’re afraid it would just upset your partner and create more disconnection, so you stay silent.

Even in your family, you are not truly seen. Politics and other discussions bring up tension within you. You have strong convictions, but you don't share them, because you fear your family will reject you. It just seems better to be quiet and keep the peace.  

You’re trying to be everything to everyone

It's so hard to be all the right things for everyone  - a passionate employee, a committed and loving partner, a dutiful daughter, a supportive friend.  But if someone asks one more thing of you, you might just snap. You hold it all in, worrying about what other people think or whether you said something stupid or insensitive.  You don’t feel like the same vibrant person you remember from other times in your life - strong, outspoken, and confident.

Missing that version of you?

You are done passing on the things you used to care about. You want to find more time and energy to be the person you know yourself to be and not just the person who everyone will like.  You are looking for someone to help you learn to tame the critical voices in your head, get back in touch with your light, and care about yourself as much as you care about others.

Here’s how I help people-pleasers 

I work with women who are people-pleasers and doubt their worth.  Through counseling I help them learn to value themselves without being perfect.  You will learn that you matter as much as everyone else and that you’re enough just as you are.  Counseling will help you move through your fears of rejection and disappointment of others and start making braver choices. 

You will learn how to rediscover the values that really matter to you, so you can make choices based on authenticity rather than fear.  You will learn how to have honest, meaningful conversations with people you care about.  No more holding it in and trying to make everybody else comfortable.  Together we will work on setting boundaries to  help you be the person you want to be.   

What our sessions will look like

We’ll talk about your pain, but we’ll also laugh together.  We’ll work on responding to difficult emotions and thoughts without pushing them away.  You’ll learn to tune into what really matters and calm your body, so anxiety doesn’t get in the way of being your true self.  I usually see clients once a week and practice skills in session, so you can start making the changes that you’re looking for.

Ready to start feeling like yourself again?

If you’re ready to stop comparing yourself to others, to let go of an unrealistic ideal, and to stop worrying so much about how others see you, contact me at (406) 924-3445 for a free 15-minute consultation to discover how therapy can help you reconnect with the best parts of yourself and give yourself the freedom to take up more space in the world.